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Sunday, 20 September 2015

The Best Story EVA (Parody)


Carl was your ordinary man. Whose only problem is his raging hormones. His urges are like those of rabbits. He thinks of it day and night, so naturally he masturbates a lot. If masturbating is an olympic sport, Carl would probably sweep the gold easily.

One day, Carl went up to the attic to search for some thrash to clear. As he was digging through it, he found a suit. A shrek suit. Thinking how stupid and goofy he would look wearing it, Carl paid no attention to it. But hours passed and he catches glimpse of the suit. A strong attraction was calling out to him to wear the shrek suit. Eventually Carl wore it.

After looking himself in the mirror and realized how stupid he looked, he decided to take it off. His fears became reality when the suit would not come off. He tried to rip it but when he does that he felt a surge of pain. As if he was pulling his own skin.

He decided to cut the suit with a scissors. To his dismay, the suit bled as if it was him whose bleeding. True enough he felt the pain of cuts. He lay it off and went to bed. Thinking that he will search for help the next day. Carl soon fell asleep sad not being able to do his daily masturbation.

Day came fast and when Carl woke up he roared a mighty ogre roar. The suit has swallowed him and he is now shrek itself. An ogre. With strong ogre arms. However his sex drive was still strong and he decided that since his life was fucked up as it is, might as well do something. So Carl decided to go on the streets in daylight and rape. He saw an old lady and fucked her till she got a heart attack and died after being sprayed with ogre cum.

Carl saw a toddler and made him spread open his butt cheeks wide open. Soon after he forced his big ogre dick in his small onions. The boy fainted due to shock and pain. As Carl did that he let another mighty ogre roar. His rampaged continued throughout the streets. The police couldn't do anything except getting their asses raped too.

Carl moved to a farm to hide. He fucked a goat, a cow, a pig and a horse. Practically anything. He made his hideout there and wait to revitalize his raging ogre hormones. Those which were raped and survive undergo a transformation. They soon turned shrek like. Their hormones raged. Soon enough the whole city was in a rape state. Everybody was turning shrek like.

However, only one man in the city was not transformed yet. Because in all honesty you can't see him. And if you ever do he will F U you to hell. He stood as humanity last hope. AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA.

John Cena knew where Carl the shrek was hiding at. Because only one place was overflowing with an ogre aura so strong so putrid there was no hiding it. Soon John Cena confronted Carl. Carl let out a mighty ogre roar and grabbed John Cena with his big ogre arms. John Cena was surprised because he thought he can't be seen.

John Cena flipped over and started punching Carl the shrek in the face. He kicked Carl in the gut and did an F U so hard that Carl  dissappeared from the face of the earth. Those who were transformed into shrek like beings were back to their original state. All thanks to one man and one man alone.

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